Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
