I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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