She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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