The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
