so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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