She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
this must be what syphilis tastes like
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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