Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
