Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
