So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
