my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I need a beard to bite.
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