just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
