Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
