Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
