i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
