I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
