Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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