Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
