every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize