The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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