you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
