just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
