In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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