And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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