my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize