Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
