once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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