Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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