But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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