ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
