Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
