i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
