I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
