The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
