that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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