if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
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