wrigley field is MILF paradise
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
