We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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