That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
