are you still at the devil's house?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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