Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
