This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just invented taco cereal.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
