Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
