Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
