Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
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