between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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