At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
how does that bad decision feel?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
