i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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