I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
