I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
