The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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