I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
