what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
