Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
