I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
