I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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