Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
