Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
