umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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