It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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