Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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