Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
