I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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