just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
