is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
