His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
